[Music] welcome to ask a black man where we get real answers from real men this is the dating episode where men reveal their biggest pet peeves about the opposite sex relationship timelines and what takes a woman from girlfriend to wife let’s meet the men I had a great time dating it was great I just took that time to realize what I did and didn’t want she has some good drawers you want to keep getting those I’m scared to marriage will change everything maybe I’m not ready for this because maybe these girls are not ready you gotta have a lot of things going for them they got impatient women to me dating is different than being in a relationship with somebody most men at some point in time want to settle down whatever settle down means but the younger you are is more of imma date her for the now and if she possesses some qualities that make me start to think more about going to that next level then cool but if not we just gonna rock out for now whether you want to get the drawers or whether you want to get married I think in the back of your mind like you’re always thinking about like does this person have potential right whether or not you get to because she has some good drawers like you gonna you want to keep getting those you know what I mean and outside of the drawers she has some great qualities about her and things that you like they know like okay you know you’re gonna look past that and beyond that so I’ve been looking at it and saying you know the end goal is is always married [Music] how did not actually on the nine years I mean mutations were like I mean before we when we when we were dating we had a marriage talk like just just having the marriage talk and not being me being like I I’m out because usually when the marriage talk came up and I knew that you know this woman wasn’t the one like that was a sign that I had to get up out of here real talk but you know once we had that talk and I realized that you know she was the one I was just like y’all once we get married like that’s it like I’m not gonna be in a divorce so we need to be a hundred percent sure cuz like I just know many dudes that like they might have been married like a year two years and then you asking me like you know what happened they’d be like you know what man I knew before it happened that wasn’t right right I’m like then what’d you do exactly my problem or like my fear is that I I’m scared to marriage will change everything you know like we’ll see it’ll change have you been like damn for like six months or even a year you’re obvious it’s gonna resolve it’s all be evolved had always be involved that’s still my fear in my heart like I literally had a list of thirteen things make my checklist and I measured every woman I dated by that so we might get through the first eight and then I’m like oh nine this is the last day you know know what you want it’s like shopping list in a supermarket you could walk in a supermarket hungry you won’t pick up a bunch of fool arenas gonna go in the car cuz you just reached out versus knowing specifically what you want going in there and shop in the proper way [Music] I think fundamentally women and men are just different in dating its socialized differently so like I always use the example of growing up and aunts or even gods my fake uncles it was to a where’s a girlfriend said I don’t got one right now team said you should have five and you know maybe your little cousin or your older sister have you know how their suicides they’re totally different they were never today little niece you should have five boyfriends right so just going into things not expectation when they dating news is you and only you be thinking you don’t got other girls are you seeing you talk right and maybe that changes as they get older but we’re fundamentally different from the beginning and I think this retreats this kind of give take given too much information and about a greater view in dating I even tell my homegirls as long as you ain’t exchanging bodily fluids you could be dating as many dudes as you want and I think you should until the point of wanting go to the next level and having that checklist and knowing what you want and now you want to get more serious then you need to streamline that and meet you know cut it down to one guy but when you’re out there just dating and having fun if you’re not sleeping with dudes and all of that you should be dating as many dudes as you can let’s see when we talk about me you know it’s like when we talk about we’re dating we sleeping with as many weep but as much as I’m not telling anybody to go sleep with as many people ask me that’s what you do actually interested in you and courtship is one thing interested in beating no absolutely depends on the environment like if you meet somebody in a cabin that I don’t want to wife anybody I met in the club I know this morning in the club has happiness for the most part like those those circumstances in that environment is not a place that you wanted me somebody that you want to build with long-term that’s a hey tonight or for the summer for the weekend whatever the case may be the key I always tell especially in my whole I’m like the guy that all my homegirls come to yo calamus with God what you think and I’m like your consistency is key like you can tell a lot about a man by what he’s consistent with and that’s in any area does he call you back does he listen to you right oh that’s it if he hits you up when it’s not ten o’clock at night always like bleeding Clues whatever you want to accept it or not like you know you call him he’s ducking your calls well you need a lot of women don’t think like that yes it sucks and the grand scheme of consistency right barbershop saving hey I’m job or I’m consistent with you I wanna I’m gonna pursue so hey every tuesday we’re gonna go do something he’s clearly showing you he knows how to be consistent with something yeah especially in this day and age I see women on Instagram and they’ll be like you know I’m not dating a duty unless he’s rich you know got a job you know no kids car and I have this like on Instagram so you think any dude looking at that even if he has all those things I don’t look at you and be like yes baby [Laughter] they shouldn’t demand anything of anyone else that they don’t have themselves I think we all know women alike have like these extravagant lists and it’s like you look at and you look at them it’s like right shit next time on ask a black man well they’re not very emotional so you relate to their emotional side you can world on a minute have them do whatever you want them to do but what do we do when we’re not we cheat we miss thanks for watching ask a black man here on Madden you are hope you enjoyed you want to see more good things check I’m Aaron on YouTube at youtube.com backslash madolora subscribe [Music]

 

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