♪ ♪ – ‘SCUSE ME. I THINK WE’RE READY TO ORDER. – WELL, UM, I’M SORRY. THAT’S NOT HOW THINGS WORK IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT. SOMEONE WILL COME TO YOU. – YES, WE’RE SORRY. NO–NO PROBLEM. – WHAT WAS THAT? – WHAT? – WELL, WHERE WAS BLACK JEFF? – “BLACK JEFF”? – YEAH, BLACK JEFF. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT WHEN YOU DATE A BIRACIAL GUY, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, SO THERE ARE WHITE-JEFF SITUATIONS, AND THERE ARE BLACK-JEFF SITUATIONS, AND THAT WAS DEFINITELY A BLACK-JEFF SITUATION.

– OH. OKAY. – HI, FOLKS, I’M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. CAN I GET YOU BOTTLED OR TAP WATER FOR THIS EVENING? – HOW ‘BOUT I BOTTLE YOUR ASS AND KICK IT DOWN THE STAIRS, MAN? WE’VE BEEN WAITIN’ HALF AN HOUR FOR ONE O’ YOU MOTHER [bleep]ERS TO SHOW UP! – GOD, I’M SO– I’M SO SORRY. I’LL GET YOU A BOTTLE OF OUR FINEST, PREMIUM WATER, ON THE HOUSE. – THAT’S WHAT I SAID, BITCH! – WHAT ARE YOU DOING? – BLACK JEFF. THAT WAS BLACK JEFF. – BUT HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP US. – OH, SO, WHITE JEFF? – YES. – GOOD EVENING. I’M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU TWO. I AM THE MAITRE D’ HERE AT CHEZ HENRI. – OH, YES, UH, WHAT IS IT? – I AM SO SORRY TO DISTURB YOU BOTH, BUT OUR ESTABLISHMENT HAS A CERTAIN DRESS CODE, AND MADAME’S, UM, DECOLLETAGE IS INAPPROPRIATE.

– OH, MY GOD. WE’RE–WE’RE VERY SORRY. WE DIDN’T KNOW THERE WAS A DRESS CODE. WE’LL CERTAINLY REMEMBER FOR THE NEXT TIME. BUT THERE AIN’T GONNA BE NO NEXT TIME FOR YOU! LOOKIN’ AT MY WOMAN, AND HER–HER CH– DECO–CHOCKA–“CHOCKALAGE,” OR WHATEVER YOU SAID, MAN! – IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE? – OKAY, SEE, IT WAS REALLY A SIMPLE MISUNDERSTANDING. IT ALL STARTED WITH THAT MOTHER[bleep] RIGHT THERE, WHO WAS DISRESPECTIN’ MYSELF AND MY GIRL, BUT WE REALLY LOVE THIS GUY, AND HE GAVE US EXCEPTIONAL SERVICE.

– WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE. – YOU HAVE TO ASK ME TO LEAVE? OH, YOU GONNA HAVE TO ASK THE BLACK MAN TO LEAVE? HUH? ACTUALLY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK US TO LEAVE. ‘CAUSE WE’RE GOING TO SEE OURSELVES OUT. AND WE AIN’T NEVER COMIN’ BACK AGAIN! THOUGH WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR HELP. [crashes] OH, LO SIENTO MUCHO. WATCH YO ASS, MAN! LET US REIMBURSE YOU FOR THAT BREAKAGE, OKAY? RIGHT AFTER I BURN THIS WHOLE PLACE TO THE MOTHER[bleep] GROUND WITH EVERYBODY INSIDE OF IT! BY WHICH I MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO GET A VERY NEGATIVE REVIEW ON YELP.

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